Emotion Focused Counseling

Relationship TherapyFrom the moment we are conceived, there is a necessary connection between ourselves and another human being. As we grow into adults, we no longer need the direct physical attachment with a mother as we do as infants, nor do we need her as a food source and ever present, protective nurturer.  However, even as adults, we carry our earliest bonding experiences into our relationships with those with whom we have significant connections.  Our adult selves still need nurturing, albeit in different ways than when we were young, still need stability, and still need healthy relationships with others. When healthy, these relationships feed our emotional and mental well-being, enrich our lives, and provide us with many benefits to our sense of security and enjoyment.  They let us know that we are seen and valued, that we are important and supported, and that we are liked and loved. We all need healthy relationships to lead happy and satisfying lives.

Yet, it is in these very same interactions with others that we also can get hurt or overwhelmed, and feel confused and uncertain. We can then feel threatened, unsafe, vulnerable, and insecure.  When our relationships aren’t healthy, it can impact all areas of our lives in negative ways.

 If you are struggling in your marriage or dating relationship or in any of your connections with friends, family, or acquaintances, you know that there is unpleasant fallout that comes from misunderstandings, unresolved conflicts, differing desires, and different needs between yourself and others. Whether the struggle you are currently facing is in your relationship with your spouse or partner, your parents, your kids, your friends, or your co-workers, the stress of strained relationships is likely taking its toll on your mental and emotional health and on your sense of stability and safety.

Are you finding difficulty communicating with your spouse? Fighting with your teenager?  Not seeing eye-to-eye with your boss?  No matter what the relationship, if you need help to sort through the complicated thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing in your connections with others, therapy can help. 

Feelings like betrayal, jealousy, anger, anxiety, and being misunderstood are hard enough to deal with within oneself, but when you add another human being to the mix, with their own individual feelings, thoughts, choices, and behaviors, you may start to feel that the issues between you and the others in your life are hopeless or insurmountable.  Let me assure you that this is not the case.

With the appropriate evidence-based treatment modalities, you can be on your way to healing, strength, and success in your relationships.  Through the use of Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) and Neurologically Informed Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) techniques, and Adult Attachment Theory (AAT), I can help you to better understand both your own motivations, perceptions, and positive and negative contributions to your difficult relationships as well as to gain better insight into these same factors in those with whom you desire a better relationship. 

As you have likely figured out by now, what we think and what we feel can color our perceptions of reality, and therapy can help to bring greater insight into the relationship dynamics and the individual contributions to these dynamics that each person provides.  When we become more aware of our emotions and learn how to more effectively understand their purposes and how to regulate them more effectively, positive change can take place.  It is in the understanding of our emotions and their effects on our behaviors and thoughts that we are able to identify healthy ways to manage them and beneficially impact our relationships with others. To learn more about these treatments, follow this link:

Emotions aren’t necessarily an accurate representation of reality but they certainly are indicators of experiences that we may wish to pay attention to so that we can know how to connect, stay safe, and respond in ways which can be beneficial.  Unfortunately, when we don’t understand our emotions, our thoughts and interactions with others can suffer.

Over the course of the past 25 years, I have effectively helped individuals and couples to better understand their own needs, motivations, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors as well as those of others.  When you choose to work with me, I will provide you with a supportive, understanding relationship that appropriately challenges you to identify your blind-spots, perspectives, and actions in light of what is most beneficial to you and your interactions with others.  I believe in the importance and great value of healthy relationships to enhance our lives and our experience as human beings.

When you can better understand your emotions and make sense of their purpose in your life, what you need, and how you can benefit best by taking healthier actions in your relationships with others, you are on your way to better quality and more fulfilling connections with others and a more enriched life.

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